Another visit...

It's 1 am. I have to leave for Arkansas tomorrow morning, hopefully before lunch. I've been here since July 3. This is probably the longest time I've spent at home since I moved to Arkansas 4 years ago.

I honestly don't want to leave. Being here is like heaven to me, here in the house that I grew up in with my parents, brother, grandparents, friends, family, etc. Essentially, my roots. Nearly every good memory in the first 22 years of my life took place here. When I'm here I feel such a deeper connection to those memories, the people, everything. Every time I have to leave it's as if all of those roots are being ripped up, like my heart is being torn out of my chest. As I sit here, memory after memory passes through my mind, and each one brings a new wave of sobs.

There's no way this is the way it's supposed to be. I know God didn't intend for us to leave our families hundreds of miles away so we can provide for ourselves. Adam and Eve screwed it up with sin, but us humans weren't content to leave it at that. We have progressed deeper and deeper into depravity, selfishness and greed, sacrificing our families to the point that now it's normal and expected that a child leave his/her parents way behind as they progress in the world.

Don't get me wrong, I have a great life in Arkansas. I just don't have any solid roots there like I have here, and sometimes that gets really difficult for me.